New attitude...

After a lot of soul-searching, thinking about my career, my personal life, my personal goals and dreams, as well as what I want to use whatever success I come upon in my career for, among many other things, I am feeling peaceful...at ease, yet plunging ahead to fulfill my dreams and my purpose for being here...yes here, on Earth. Sounds big, huh? Well, it is. And I have found it to be so important for us humans to take a moment to evaluate our lives and who we want to be, what we want to achieve, and how we can best use the gifts we have been given in life.

There are amazing things all around me. Wonderful artists, opportunity, nature...everything seems to be right here. And it is...I feel as if I am exactly where I am supposed to be. In Los Angeles, California. I needed to write that out, because it is easy to overlook how incredibly fortunate I am to be able to pursue my dreams with the support of people who love me. Now, the purpose of this blog is not for me to pat myself on the back...just to get it all out ;) A couple of months ago, I had a tough time...in a good way. Oxymoron? naaaah...its how I go through things. I have learned that about myself over the years. Its like a hard workout session. I'm running uphill, so hard, and it hurts...but then at the end it pays off and becomes a very positive thing for me. It feels so good. So, from time to time, I really take a look at myself and what I want to make better. At this point, I am feeling very ready. Ready to sing. Ready to act. Ready to use the gifts I have been blessed with to the fullest.

My first year in retrospective:

**I moved into an apartment by myself and was able to get a job to support.

**I have spent the first year here in LA getting on sets doing extra work, or background, which is such a good first step, I think. I still do it from time to time, because I think it is fun! Some people here don't like it, but it can be looked at as a great learning experience...and a way to get some extra cash. One of the highlights of my extra work days so far was when I was able to be on my favorite show's set for several days: Glee. It is my goal-show, for sure! So it was cool to see how it works.

**I've also been in an AMAZING acting class for six months. The support that circulates through that room is wonderful. It is a major part of my week, and I have developed some true friendships as well as contacts from it. I feel myself improving every week, which is saying something! Not every class hits home with people...I got really lucky. :)

**Auditions have become a more regular thing: which I am so excited about! Commercials, a feature produced by the American History X team, and pilots and webisodes. Every single one is a learning experience, no matter what. I actually LIKE to audition now! Pshh, never thought I'd say that.

**Independent feature supporting role in August of this year. A great learning experience.

**Casting director workshops--so helpful, in my opinion.

**Made a commitment to volunteering at Children's Hospital a few hours a week :)

What's next:

I have decided to cut a vocal demo to put in my package. After a lot of prayer and meditation, I found that music is so supplementary to my life. My voice has been warming up for this my entire life...and, like I said before, my goal would be to be on a show like Glee...where I can implement my two loves: singing and acting, and tap into my show-choir love!!!

I have been working my ass off at the gym and have been eating better to just become healthier in general.

At the beginning of the year, I will be putting together my reel so I can have that for agents and managers. Its time. I am going to go ahead and pay for it myself and have friends and director contacts for good cameras.

So, 2009 was a learning year...in many many ways. I've learned a lot about myself, who I am, who I want to be, and how to best use my abilities in singing and acting. Now its onward..here goes...

Sending love, as always.